"Thoughts of Junior High Students," or "My Brain is Not Done Cooking."

I spend roughly one million hours a week with Junior High School Students. This does two things.

1. It gives me self-esteem.

No matter how awful life gets, I take comfort in the fact that I am no longer in Junior High. I don't have over-active sweat-glands. No more acne. I've mastered the art of bathing. I can have decent face-to-face conversations with members of the opposite gender. I can stay seated in a chair for more than 12 seconds. I generally know where my stuff is. I usually don't need to call my mom to bring me things like pants. ("I don't know, Mom. I just forgot them!") No more homework. All of these things are far from my students' reach.

2. It makes me more dumb. Or dumber.

There is something about spending most of the day speaking with 13-year-olds that causes my brain to have the same kind of thoughts they have.

For example, today I spoke with a grown woman (another Junior High Teacher) about how dumb it was that "so and so" and "such and such" were hanging out, and that it really hurt "someone or other's" feelings, like, super-bad that they totally didn't even invite him...

I also bought a One Direction album, and learned the Gangham-Style dance.


One of my favorite parts of teaching is trying to keep a straight face when the little doof-brains say really awkward or silly things without realizing it.

While performing a scene, one of my students decided his character was just like Tigger from "Winnie the Pooh." He proceeded to describe his "big boinger," meaning his coiled tail that helped him to bounce, or go "boing."

I had to put my head behind my soda for that one. Luckily none of the students in the audience batted an eyelash.